Thursday, May 20, 2010

I swear this isn't a picture of moldy bread


But can you guess what it is? It's shiitake spawn!! We are inoculating oak logs that we gleaned from the streets of the hood, in JEA's wake. Those suckers were going to throw them away. We ordered the spawn from Fungi Perfecti and they sent it in a box that you can plant and it grows a tree. We should have mushrooms sprouting in like 6 months to a year.

<



Check out our new ride! We can totally make spectacles of ourselves now. Could you see that with a bale of hay and a goat tied to the back, tear-assing down the street in the middle of downtown. Watch out now.

This is exactly what it looks like


I have to admit, this isnt the first time. I panic when I see a city truck or the person who owns the lot next door pull up in front of the house. So, what do I do? I put the goats in the kitchen. Chickens, I feel, are a lot easier to explain than goats. A lot of people around here have some chickens. We even have a large pack of wild chickens that roam around. I had no idea they were truly wild until I saw a mama hen with a brood of day old chicks walking down the sidewalk. Anyways, so to keep my Illegal animal activities secret, I put the goats in the kitchen. After they give birth and start going into heat again, I'm going to have to keep Juggy in there during her cycle because when she is in heat, she lets EVERYONE know. She bleats every 10 seconds and it sounds like a human. The first time I heard this was about 6 months ago when I went to the bathroom at like 7:30 in the morning and I heard this God awful screeching, so naturally I thought it was the prostitutes wrapping up a night of work. Until I realized, this awful noise was coming from the backyard. Loud noises are very common around here at all times of day and night. The ladies working the corner are usually high, so they will talk to themselves, yell, laugh, while hopping from sidewalk to sidewalk. I named my favorite one Kiki Skittles Plantain. I truly thought she was a real lady because she's so skinny, until I caught her after hours sporting a five o'clock shadow.
The next time Juggy went into heat and was screeching I was hanging out on the balcony bouncing the baby when I saw this guy walking in the road keep turning around to see where this yelling was coming from. Then I hear him hoot back, like trying to communicate with the goat. Needless to say her loud self will be locked up in the kitchen next heat cycle, so she doesnt attract any homeless suiters. Gross.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Look at this fool...

You know your goat is pregnant when her food gets caught on her belly.
This is Sugarbit hangin' at the farm yesterday after I pulled some vines for them to snack on.

Still lounging. No clue how silly she is.

Those goats are so knocked up! They keep getting chunkier and chunkier, and lazier and lazier. There is no beast lazier than a pregnant goat. They've been laying down to eat! That is not normal for them. The dont run and play anymore, they just eat and and complain nowadays. I estimate they are around 3 out of 5 months pregnant, so I can only imagine what they feel like. They even waddle when they walk. I thought there was something wrong with Juggy's leg, but then I realized Sugarbit had the same swagger about her. So I guess they are feeling like I felt when I was 7 or 8 months pregnant, ugh, poor ladies!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Mailmen have loose lips


The first shipment of chicks two years ago was the tipping point. I swear chickens are a gateway animal to full blown farm. At first its like, ok, we could handle three chickens. Then they send more to keep the three warm, or they send an extra runt or two, and you cant give them back. Then a swarm of opossums wipes out your backyard herd and before you know it you've replaced those three chickens with 15 chicken, just incase a opossum attacks again. Then you're like, well no one seems to mind the poultry, why not some rabbits, you need manure for the garden and its hard to collect the chicken poo anyways. Then goats seem like the next natural progression, and they're so quiet that you're like, heck a couple ducks wouldnt hurt anything. They'll eat all the waste the rabbits and the goats dont want. But you cant just get three or five because of the opossum problem, you need insurance ducks just incase. But the opossum never comes back because of all the goat urine. So at the end of all this hoarding and planning, you end up with livestock in every corner of the backyard of your house in the middle of the ghetto. So my point is, the mailman sees a lot of crazy around here. And after all that, the bees are what makes him talk, the one LEGAL thing of this whole homestead is what provokes him to break his silence.
I was walking home from work and I hear someone honking at me, so I turn to be angry with them and look who it is, the mailman. He yells from across the street from his truck because he cant contain his excitement long enough for me to cross the street. He yells, "WHATS NEXT? A KANGAROO?!?!" He wasnt angry or anything, he just thought it was funny. Then he goes on to say how when he dropped off the bees to our neighbor he told him about the duck delivery. And I was like, oh crap, we are FOR REAL those crazy neighbors that you tell stories about to get a laugh. Like, "my neighbors are so crazy that..." Oh well, it cant be helped now.
Then the mailman goes on to blackmail me for honey at Christmas and eggs at his beck and call. Ugh, thank goodness I have insurance chickens for the extra eggs I'll need to pay off the mailman.

Squat Gardening


There is an empty lot next door to our house that we have been pining over for the last 2 years. In this neighborhood there are a ton of empty lots that used to have homes on them since the early 1900s. The city has had to demolish a majority of these homes due to neglect and prostitutes starting fires. This isnt the best area of town if you hadnt gathered that yet. But what makes this area special are the homes, and ok, we are known for tranny prostitutes and drugs and shootings, but there has been a lot of growth in the last 10 years because people with money started to realize the homes were amazing and have historic designation. In any event, the atmosphere here bodes well for urban farming. As long as we dont sell drugs, harbor prostitutes, or kill people, nobody really cares what we do.
Anyways, the lot next to our house has sat empty since we have been here and we have been dying to squat garden on it. Well, as it turns out, one of the people I work with knows they guy who owns the lot "really well" and is going to ask him if we could start a garden. We'll see! I need to start sketching out the are to plan my raised beds. I'm so excited! This would really solve our problems because we have all these fruit trees with no where really great to put them, but over there we could keep them in pots and scatter dwarf fruit trees everywhere. We have a pomegranate bush, fig tree, mulberries, elderberries, strawberry guava, and some prickly pear. And we're on the lookout for an olive tree that grows in the area also. All this great stuff, and I would hate if they didnt live up to their potential because of a bad location. Its been a real chore to keep these trees alive with the goats getting out, the chickens grabbing nibbles, and the lack of rain lately. Goats will kill anything you want to grow, but will boycott anything you want them to eat.
So on today's agenda is
1. plant grape vines
2. dump and re-hay duck box
3. drag branches to street
4. contemplate new compost location
5. wash dishes (hopefully)
6. move duckweed baby pool
7. build another raised bed, or two, or three...
8. visit community garden to check and water seedlings
9. admire beehive
10. drink beer as reward for hard work

Monday, May 17, 2010

Scaring the neighbors


So if our poor neighbor wasn't scared enough, he's plenty scared now. The bees were delivered the day before yesterday and both of us were at work. So the mailman gave them to our neighbor. He has been such a sport about everything. He's taken all the livestock in stride, until the bees landed on his doorstep. It is kinda creepy when they arrive because they are essentially in a mesh box. You can see every single bee in there, and they have a buzz that rattles your whole body. So I could see being alarmed if you didnt have time to mentally prepare yourself. He was really nice about it and just asked if we could aim the hive in the opposite direction of his house, which is completely understandable. I think we expanded his world by a little bit that day, if he wanted expanding or not. He said he would research beekeeping to calm his reservations about a swarm of stinging insects so near to his place of residence. I thought that was nice of him... he is totally getting a jar of honey for christmas. I thought it was nice of him to catch that runaway chicken for me when I was like 7 months pregnant, but this time I think he has met his quota for nice deeds.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Baby explosion!


Every time I call my mom and tell her there is a new addition to our farm, her immediate response is, "ok, i'll prepare a place in my barn to put them in." She said it about the chickens, the goats, the rabbits, and newest of all, the ducks. She is under the impression urban farming is ridiculous. Well the jokes on her!! We are not only successful, we are actually developing a small following in the community. Ok, so I know people are interested because they think we're eccentric with livestock in the backyard, but maybe it's more than that...
The latest deliveries to the homestead this week are baby Rouens, and six wrinkly rabbit babies. The ducks were planned, the rabbits on the other hand were a complete accident. I didnt think they were old enough to mate because I never saw any action, not even once! I'm almost inclined to believe it was immaculate. In any event we have baby bunnies, and I do love a good surprise.
The ducks are hangin in their tupperware bin making my house smell like a pond from the wet hay and duck poo. We wont be having company until those critters go outside, how embarrassing. Story of my life. I was kind of surprised when I received the package because they were chirping like chicks, so I peaked through the holes in the box to make sure they were actual ducks, which they were, thank goodness. I guess I expected little quacking noises or something I perceived as duck-like.
Next on the farming agenda is preparing for the goat babies in late July/early august. That includes building a lean-to on the side of the goat shed, cleaning and disinfecting the shed, practicing my goat delivering skills, and stocking up on supplies. I'm pretty sure both of the ladies are pregnant, but you can never be sure until the last minute. I have 150 days counted out on the calendar, and a week before and two weeks after just incase. If they are preggers, they should deliver by 160 days. So we'll see!!